story of a brokenheart
Another chapter in my life has closed last night.....It all seems so familiar...just another case of deja vu?I don't think so...The end result was the same but the whole scenario and situation was somewhat very different. They say wisdom comes with experience but then why did I fall again this time?The last time this had happened, I solemnly sweared that I wouldn't put myself into this situation again....where have I failed?where have I gone wrong?I'm back at square one....I'm back at this very familiar place in my head.
I believed that the last situation was some what related to me. I knew that I could have done better but I didn't because of my ego and pride....I was devastated....I vowed never to put myself in this emotional rollercoaster again....Time passed by....4 years after that had happened, I was in uni enjoying the best and wildest days of my life....that was then I found her....I've never felt this way for a person before....not since after that incident...I began to learn something that I've forgotten...to have very strong feelings for a person....then we started to click and we bonded quite well....months have gone by since I first met her.....during this time I had to make a choice....to walk the path I did the last time or not to....then that faithful night, it just happened and everything fell into place, surpassing all my expectations. That was the beginning of a wonderful journey...or so I've thought. I said to myself that I'll do everything I can to make this work and not let her be the only one making it work, like what I did in my previous relationship....armed with experience under my belt, I vowed to make amendments to correct the mistakes I've done in the past so that history won't repeat itself.
6 months past by....a milestone in my life...I graduated from uni.....finally the day that my parents were eagerly waiting for has come.....on the day of the ceremony, my face was beaming with joy and happiness....I wasn't the only one, my parents were too. I could see it in their eyes and expression....To see me walk up that stage to collect my degree must have made them really proud
After all this have ended, I was faced with another dilemma....I had to make a choice....I've already graduated but she still has 1 more semester to go....I had to choose either to stay on with her against my parent's wishes, or to go back to my home country and to open a new chapter in my life which is to venture out in the working world....I was already working since my uni days but as a part timer....starting work as a full timer is something new for me and my parents want me to go back.....6 months is a long time.....long enough to change a person's heart and perception....I couldn't afford to let this happen to her so I decided to make the sacrifice to cater for her.....my parents were furious when I told them that I won't be following them back but I lied to them under the pretex of getting a PR...since I wasn't a citizen of that country, I had to make sure that I had the proper valid visa that'll allow me to stay...in order to obtain that visa, I paid a lot of money for each procedure prior to the final application...it was this decision that we decided to co-habitant under the same roof....we moved in together into this lovely 1 bedroom apartment...the plan was that she'll continue with her studies and I would work 2 jobs to contribute for the household.
We've built this relationship on trust, communication, honesty and understanding.....attributes that I didn't implement in my previous relationship...whatever that I'm not happy about, I'll voice it out so that she'll know and we can resolve the issue and I assumed she did the same as well....we did have our fair share of misunderstanding just like any other healthy relationship but nothing that we couldn't handle....during the remaining times of our stay, I tried my very best to make her happy....things at times, required me to swallow my ego and digest some humble pie....on top of that, I had done so much for her....i cook, clean and wash after her...I've even done all her dirty work...things that she had to do but didn't like to do....frankly I didn't enjoy doing them but someone has to do it.....at the end of the day, the happiness I get from this relationship seem to overwhelm the discontent I get from doing all her work....it just made me felt that my effort was all well worth it
7 months has passed and we were ready to go back as she graduated...the past 7 months has been the happiest one in my life since I first arrived here to further my studies...we knew things would be different but since our relationship was quite established, I felt that we could just adapt to our new environment....nothing would change....I was right but only for the first week since we've got back....on the 2nd week, she started neglecting me and spent most of her time with her friends...it was then we only saw each other once every 2 weeks only for 1-2 hours....until yesterday, after over a month after we arrived back, I voiced my disatisfaction...it was then she decided to break it off....it was then, I learnt the truth about everything....she was already unhappy even before we got back....I was shocked....I didn't know what to say....I asked her "what happened to our promise?we promised that we'll share every disatisfaction or problems with each other"...the only reply that she gave was "I'm sorry...I know that we made a promise to each other but I'm sorry"....when asked about the reason to why she wanted to break things off, she gave me a list of reasons but they seem to contradict each other until the extend that I felt there was no solid reason to justify her decision. The only solid reason she gave was the she couldn't bring herself to continue this relationship....what does that suppose to mean?
Everything was smooth sailing....there weren't a skightest hint or sign of showing that there was trouble brewing in this relationship...the bomb was dropped like its hot....it felt like the earth beneath my feet collapsed....
I tried begging and convincing her to give it another chance but she was still adamant in her refusal to change her mind...I've never seen her like this before....during this 1 year of being together, nothing like this had happened before....
As the song "my immortal" plays on and on, my mind seem to be dwelling into a world of misery and sadness....the memory of the good times and bad times that we've shared makes it even harder to let go...numbness fills the whole body....all my senses seem very dull...even pain doesn't seem to take away the numbness....then it hit my mind....I'm not letting the girl who taught me how to love again slip away from the grasp of my hand....I'm not going to pressure her or force her into getting back with me....I'm going to prove to her that this relationship is worth a second shot....I'm not going down without a fight
I believed that the last situation was some what related to me. I knew that I could have done better but I didn't because of my ego and pride....I was devastated....I vowed never to put myself in this emotional rollercoaster again....Time passed by....4 years after that had happened, I was in uni enjoying the best and wildest days of my life....that was then I found her....I've never felt this way for a person before....not since after that incident...I began to learn something that I've forgotten...to have very strong feelings for a person....then we started to click and we bonded quite well....months have gone by since I first met her.....during this time I had to make a choice....to walk the path I did the last time or not to....then that faithful night, it just happened and everything fell into place, surpassing all my expectations. That was the beginning of a wonderful journey...or so I've thought. I said to myself that I'll do everything I can to make this work and not let her be the only one making it work, like what I did in my previous relationship....armed with experience under my belt, I vowed to make amendments to correct the mistakes I've done in the past so that history won't repeat itself.
6 months past by....a milestone in my life...I graduated from uni.....finally the day that my parents were eagerly waiting for has come.....on the day of the ceremony, my face was beaming with joy and happiness....I wasn't the only one, my parents were too. I could see it in their eyes and expression....To see me walk up that stage to collect my degree must have made them really proud
After all this have ended, I was faced with another dilemma....I had to make a choice....I've already graduated but she still has 1 more semester to go....I had to choose either to stay on with her against my parent's wishes, or to go back to my home country and to open a new chapter in my life which is to venture out in the working world....I was already working since my uni days but as a part timer....starting work as a full timer is something new for me and my parents want me to go back.....6 months is a long time.....long enough to change a person's heart and perception....I couldn't afford to let this happen to her so I decided to make the sacrifice to cater for her.....my parents were furious when I told them that I won't be following them back but I lied to them under the pretex of getting a PR...since I wasn't a citizen of that country, I had to make sure that I had the proper valid visa that'll allow me to stay...in order to obtain that visa, I paid a lot of money for each procedure prior to the final application...it was this decision that we decided to co-habitant under the same roof....we moved in together into this lovely 1 bedroom apartment...the plan was that she'll continue with her studies and I would work 2 jobs to contribute for the household.
We've built this relationship on trust, communication, honesty and understanding.....attributes that I didn't implement in my previous relationship...whatever that I'm not happy about, I'll voice it out so that she'll know and we can resolve the issue and I assumed she did the same as well....we did have our fair share of misunderstanding just like any other healthy relationship but nothing that we couldn't handle....during the remaining times of our stay, I tried my very best to make her happy....things at times, required me to swallow my ego and digest some humble pie....on top of that, I had done so much for her....i cook, clean and wash after her...I've even done all her dirty work...things that she had to do but didn't like to do....frankly I didn't enjoy doing them but someone has to do it.....at the end of the day, the happiness I get from this relationship seem to overwhelm the discontent I get from doing all her work....it just made me felt that my effort was all well worth it
7 months has passed and we were ready to go back as she graduated...the past 7 months has been the happiest one in my life since I first arrived here to further my studies...we knew things would be different but since our relationship was quite established, I felt that we could just adapt to our new environment....nothing would change....I was right but only for the first week since we've got back....on the 2nd week, she started neglecting me and spent most of her time with her friends...it was then we only saw each other once every 2 weeks only for 1-2 hours....until yesterday, after over a month after we arrived back, I voiced my disatisfaction...it was then she decided to break it off....it was then, I learnt the truth about everything....she was already unhappy even before we got back....I was shocked....I didn't know what to say....I asked her "what happened to our promise?we promised that we'll share every disatisfaction or problems with each other"...the only reply that she gave was "I'm sorry...I know that we made a promise to each other but I'm sorry"....when asked about the reason to why she wanted to break things off, she gave me a list of reasons but they seem to contradict each other until the extend that I felt there was no solid reason to justify her decision. The only solid reason she gave was the she couldn't bring herself to continue this relationship....what does that suppose to mean?
Everything was smooth sailing....there weren't a skightest hint or sign of showing that there was trouble brewing in this relationship...the bomb was dropped like its hot....it felt like the earth beneath my feet collapsed....
I tried begging and convincing her to give it another chance but she was still adamant in her refusal to change her mind...I've never seen her like this before....during this 1 year of being together, nothing like this had happened before....
As the song "my immortal" plays on and on, my mind seem to be dwelling into a world of misery and sadness....the memory of the good times and bad times that we've shared makes it even harder to let go...numbness fills the whole body....all my senses seem very dull...even pain doesn't seem to take away the numbness....then it hit my mind....I'm not letting the girl who taught me how to love again slip away from the grasp of my hand....I'm not going to pressure her or force her into getting back with me....I'm going to prove to her that this relationship is worth a second shot....I'm not going down without a fight
depression hits supa_jock at 6:00 AM
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