The reason
I've spoken to one of my mates today and she gave me what I felt was the best explaination...my mate told me that she could really relate and understand where she's coming from cos she told her ex the same thing as well....her relationship with her ex for 3 years crumbled and evaporated in that 1 year they co-habitated.....its not because that guy didn't treat her nicely, in fact, he treated her like a queen...I know that for a fact because I know him personally...he's a very down to earth person and he definitely knows how to treat a lady
The conversation I had with my mate is as below:
Pamie nothing unusual, nothing strange, close to nothing at all says:
it's really hard la.... to see and live with yr boyfriend 24/7........it becomes so routine that the passion for each other can be lost yunno.......because it's gotten so comfortable.......maybe that's how she feels ler.....like now....she's no longer seeing/staying with u 24/7.......she starts to experience a new sense of freedom which seems exciting now.......because she hasn't had it for almost a year........but that doesn't mean she doesn't love u completely......just that this new freedom and lifestyle all of a sudden seemed a more fashionable option u know?she needs a new experience from what she had for a year ler......you should try to move on the best way possible.......DO NOT wait for her.....it's for the best......her feelings for u are still there, just in a different form.......she doesn't see u as a boyfriend anymore.......that's why she wants to break up....i'm speaking from my experience la... esp since i'm a girl and this is a very simlar situation.....i see william*(her ex whom she dated for more then 3 years)*differently, i still love him.... but more like family because we're so close...but the passion and feelings are all gone......you're more like a close close friend who knows her, lived with her...and because u gave in too much......she didn't have to fight for u to stay with u......and that's usually the reason why she took u for granted......it's not worth it to do any saving for now la......she's too excited abt being home now, that's why the break up hasn't affected her and probably won't......she's not as cold as u think she is, she's just too caught up with other things at the moment to even have the time to be cold towards u.....because let's face it, she just doesnt hvae the time for u now at all
the next conversation we had really had me thinking....I can see myself walking this path and its not something to be desired at all:
william and i were tgt for 3 years......i know he still loves me la.....i mean i know he was waiting for me eversince we broke up......but he told me that now eventho he still loves me, he realized that i will never getback with him and it hurts him to see me with new boyfriends ler....like really confused him.....i don't want u to end up like william....that's why, just really accept the fact for now that there's no turning back, all has been said and done.....and try to move on and don't wait for her
I sort of like understand the situation but still I just couldn't grasp the fact that I digged my own grave...the last part of our conversation totally pushed me back into a state of confusion again....basically she contradicted all that she has just said:
IF she still loves u, she'll do things to get u back and if that time u still feel for her, then that's the time to get back together but don't try to win her back for now and move on instead....if she wants u back, she'll fight for u
Overall this conversation we had was quite an eye opener....I've realised a lot of things....so basically, I dugged my own grave by staying back for her and coming back with her...then again, even IF I didn't stay back for her, things might not work out as well...I'm a staunch non-believer in long distance relationships because I know most long distance relationships won't last....I don't have to prove anything as the stats shows it eventhough a formal research has never been conducted before....Its not that I don't have faith in myself, its just that I don't have faith in her...I was afraid that she'll lose all her feelings for me because she just got used to no having me around...and that was the reason why I stayed back for her...looks like my plan or good intentions rather, has been backfired...to start off with, this relationship was never meant to be...I just have to accept the fact that I chose the wrong person to start a relationship with....I've tried all ways possible to make things work but it seemed that all is in vain...I've tried my best to make her happy in so many ways possible....so I feel that the problem doesn't lie with me.....it lies within her....she has some major issues in a lot of areas in her life such as commitment as one of the major issue that I feel is priority...she doesn't seem to feel guilty or anything close to that for what she's done to me in which she played a number on me...I feel so used....used of my time, effort, resources and well being...my grief and sorrow seemed to be turning into hatred, bitterness and anger....
after all I've said and done, it still doesn't justify the reason I'm feeling this way....I know for a fact that things just didn't work out between us....the only thing left for me to do is to understand and accept that fact....knowing and understanding things are two whole different concept...only in due time will I fully grasp the lost that have bestowed upon me
The conversation I had with my mate is as below:
Pamie nothing unusual, nothing strange, close to nothing at all says:
it's really hard la.... to see and live with yr boyfriend 24/7........it becomes so routine that the passion for each other can be lost yunno.......because it's gotten so comfortable.......maybe that's how she feels ler.....like now....she's no longer seeing/staying with u 24/7.......she starts to experience a new sense of freedom which seems exciting now.......because she hasn't had it for almost a year........but that doesn't mean she doesn't love u completely......just that this new freedom and lifestyle all of a sudden seemed a more fashionable option u know?she needs a new experience from what she had for a year ler......you should try to move on the best way possible.......DO NOT wait for her.....it's for the best......her feelings for u are still there, just in a different form.......she doesn't see u as a boyfriend anymore.......that's why she wants to break up....i'm speaking from my experience la... esp since i'm a girl and this is a very simlar situation.....i see william*(her ex whom she dated for more then 3 years)*differently, i still love him.... but more like family because we're so close...but the passion and feelings are all gone......you're more like a close close friend who knows her, lived with her...and because u gave in too much......she didn't have to fight for u to stay with u......and that's usually the reason why she took u for granted......it's not worth it to do any saving for now la......she's too excited abt being home now, that's why the break up hasn't affected her and probably won't......she's not as cold as u think she is, she's just too caught up with other things at the moment to even have the time to be cold towards u.....because let's face it, she just doesnt hvae the time for u now at all
the next conversation we had really had me thinking....I can see myself walking this path and its not something to be desired at all:
william and i were tgt for 3 years......i know he still loves me la.....i mean i know he was waiting for me eversince we broke up......but he told me that now eventho he still loves me, he realized that i will never getback with him and it hurts him to see me with new boyfriends ler....like really confused him.....i don't want u to end up like william....that's why, just really accept the fact for now that there's no turning back, all has been said and done.....and try to move on and don't wait for her
I sort of like understand the situation but still I just couldn't grasp the fact that I digged my own grave...the last part of our conversation totally pushed me back into a state of confusion again....basically she contradicted all that she has just said:
IF she still loves u, she'll do things to get u back and if that time u still feel for her, then that's the time to get back together but don't try to win her back for now and move on instead....if she wants u back, she'll fight for u
Overall this conversation we had was quite an eye opener....I've realised a lot of things....so basically, I dugged my own grave by staying back for her and coming back with her...then again, even IF I didn't stay back for her, things might not work out as well...I'm a staunch non-believer in long distance relationships because I know most long distance relationships won't last....I don't have to prove anything as the stats shows it eventhough a formal research has never been conducted before....Its not that I don't have faith in myself, its just that I don't have faith in her...I was afraid that she'll lose all her feelings for me because she just got used to no having me around...and that was the reason why I stayed back for her...looks like my plan or good intentions rather, has been backfired...to start off with, this relationship was never meant to be...I just have to accept the fact that I chose the wrong person to start a relationship with....I've tried all ways possible to make things work but it seemed that all is in vain...I've tried my best to make her happy in so many ways possible....so I feel that the problem doesn't lie with me.....it lies within her....she has some major issues in a lot of areas in her life such as commitment as one of the major issue that I feel is priority...she doesn't seem to feel guilty or anything close to that for what she's done to me in which she played a number on me...I feel so used....used of my time, effort, resources and well being...my grief and sorrow seemed to be turning into hatred, bitterness and anger....
after all I've said and done, it still doesn't justify the reason I'm feeling this way....I know for a fact that things just didn't work out between us....the only thing left for me to do is to understand and accept that fact....knowing and understanding things are two whole different concept...only in due time will I fully grasp the lost that have bestowed upon me
depression hits supa_jock at 5:06 AM
2 Comments:
deep shit.. hahahahha... but yeah. 15 minutes away is TOO far away... that's my philosophy anyway..
wait until you've found that "person" who knocks you off your feet then you'll understand what I'm going thru...to have found it and then to lose it so easily
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