My judgement, clouded by pride and ego
When we lose one we love, our bitterest tears are called forth by the memory of hours when we loved not enough
The quote above at times do apply to me....sometimes I feel that this whole thing was my fault...I blame myself for what had happened...
She didn't spend much time with me since we got back..she only saw me once in two weeks...she wanted to spend more time with her friends whom she hasn't seen in a year....I wasn't too happy bout it...eventhough we talked bout it, she didn't deliver what she promised me...when she realised that and she wanted to make it up to me but I somehow fucked everything up...I played hard to get...she wanted to spend time with me but I purposely told her I was busy...when she called me to talk to me, I gave her the cold shoulder...she tried to reconcile with me but I fucked it up...when I just couldn't take it anymore, I just lashed it out on her...I said a lot of mean things to her...all these happened within the span of 1-2 weeks and by then, it was all over...I've never let my ego and pride get the better of me throughout our relationship but this was the first time I slipped...a very costly one...why was I so fucking stupid??If only I was more understanding...if only I didn't let my ego and pride cloud my judgement...I should have just forgave her for what she did and everything would be back to normal...this is the FIRST time I've ever acted this way throughout our relationship...I didn't know why I even acted this way....I feel so stupid and I really regretted it..times like this I feel that its not worth giving up this relationship...I just can't bare to see something so beautiful evaporate into thin air over some stupid matter...I feel so disgruntled...I feel that I should be doing everything I can to win her heart back even if it cost me my ego and pride...fuck my ego and pride...in the first place, they were the culprits that caused my downfall...I'm willing to do anything at any price to win her heart back
I've always tried to be levelheaded...always tried to be rational...always tried to be realistic...but sometimes my emotions get the better of me...its kind of funny that my emotions are the worst enemy of my mind..each of them vowing to take control over my judgement...it feels as if I have to two different personalities...one is based on emotions and the other one based on rationality...the mix reactions and feelings I'm getting are driving me to the brink of insanity, close to suicidal...I don't know what to feel or think anymore...I just feel so tired and numb...
I don't know where to start cos its really breaking my heart...don't wanna let her go...I know I got love to believe in...all I know I've got to win this time
-If she was the one, then nothing in this world can change how she feels about me-
P/S:thanks looney...you might not know this, but you've saved me from slipping deeper into depression...not only did you give me meaningful advices, you've brought cheer and laughter into my already shattered emotions in my time of need...thanks bro
The quote above at times do apply to me....sometimes I feel that this whole thing was my fault...I blame myself for what had happened...
She didn't spend much time with me since we got back..she only saw me once in two weeks...she wanted to spend more time with her friends whom she hasn't seen in a year....I wasn't too happy bout it...eventhough we talked bout it, she didn't deliver what she promised me...when she realised that and she wanted to make it up to me but I somehow fucked everything up...I played hard to get...she wanted to spend time with me but I purposely told her I was busy...when she called me to talk to me, I gave her the cold shoulder...she tried to reconcile with me but I fucked it up...when I just couldn't take it anymore, I just lashed it out on her...I said a lot of mean things to her...all these happened within the span of 1-2 weeks and by then, it was all over...I've never let my ego and pride get the better of me throughout our relationship but this was the first time I slipped...a very costly one...why was I so fucking stupid??If only I was more understanding...if only I didn't let my ego and pride cloud my judgement...I should have just forgave her for what she did and everything would be back to normal...this is the FIRST time I've ever acted this way throughout our relationship...I didn't know why I even acted this way....I feel so stupid and I really regretted it..times like this I feel that its not worth giving up this relationship...I just can't bare to see something so beautiful evaporate into thin air over some stupid matter...I feel so disgruntled...I feel that I should be doing everything I can to win her heart back even if it cost me my ego and pride...fuck my ego and pride...in the first place, they were the culprits that caused my downfall...I'm willing to do anything at any price to win her heart back
I've always tried to be levelheaded...always tried to be rational...always tried to be realistic...but sometimes my emotions get the better of me...its kind of funny that my emotions are the worst enemy of my mind..each of them vowing to take control over my judgement...it feels as if I have to two different personalities...one is based on emotions and the other one based on rationality...the mix reactions and feelings I'm getting are driving me to the brink of insanity, close to suicidal...I don't know what to feel or think anymore...I just feel so tired and numb...
I don't know where to start cos its really breaking my heart...don't wanna let her go...I know I got love to believe in...all I know I've got to win this time
-If she was the one, then nothing in this world can change how she feels about me-
P/S:thanks looney...you might not know this, but you've saved me from slipping deeper into depression...not only did you give me meaningful advices, you've brought cheer and laughter into my already shattered emotions in my time of need...thanks bro
depression hits supa_jock at 6:37 AM
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