Laying it all on the line
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the strength to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
She's been gone for a week but she'll be returning either tomorrow or day after tomorrow...while she was gone, I felt that I was free from her shackles..but the thought of her returning home seems to twirl my emotions like a hurricane disaster in ways that I don't understand...maybe I felt that it is easy to be brave from a safe distance since she wasn't around...or maybe this feeling I'm getting is the result of what I did for her last Saturday, not knowing what to expect or maybe the ambiguity is causing me to be like this...
Last Saturday was her graduation ceremony...I made arrangements to have a bouquet of flowers to be delivered to her as a token to congratulate her on her graduation...not only that, I SMSed her to congratulate her and to tell her she'll look good in her attire that goes with the gown....I went through a lot of trouble and put in a lot of effort just to make it happen considering the geographical distance circumstances
I believe the saddest thing in life, is caring so much for someone and then one day you look into their eyes and listen to them talk and realize that they are gone...all I see in front of me is a stranger with just a known name...sometimes the people who I thought I knew...start becoming the strangers I never wanted....change is hard...you fight to hold on, yet you fight to let go
Nevertheless, tomorrow isn't a promise, it's a chance..a chance waiting to be seized...if I want to live, I have make everything happen...it is obvious that the goals between me and her cannot be reached...I don't have to adjust the goals...I have to adjust the action steps...I would rather do something and find out that it was the wrong thing, than never know if it was the right thing...I know if I fail, the fall is going to be harder but I'm willing to risk it all despite what world tells me....I know I can't force her to love me...but all I know is this....I can only make myself someone who can be loved by her..
Sometimes I think about the first time I realized that I loved her ... it was as if my eyes took a picture at that moment and stored it in my heart. Sometimes I think about how much my life has changed because of her. I think about her and her happiness, about us and our life together, and I realize that she was as much a part of me now as the air I breathe and the dreams I have. But, from time to time, I still like to remember the first time I looked into her eyes and saw my future there
It's not enough to have a dream, unless you're willing to pursue it. It's not enough to know what's right, unless you're strong enough to do it. It's not enough to learn the truth, unless you also learn to live it. It's not enough to reach for love, unless you care enough to give it. Men who are resolved to find a way for themselves will always find opportunities enough; and if they do not find them, they will make them.
She's been gone for a week but she'll be returning either tomorrow or day after tomorrow...while she was gone, I felt that I was free from her shackles..but the thought of her returning home seems to twirl my emotions like a hurricane disaster in ways that I don't understand...maybe I felt that it is easy to be brave from a safe distance since she wasn't around...or maybe this feeling I'm getting is the result of what I did for her last Saturday, not knowing what to expect or maybe the ambiguity is causing me to be like this...
Last Saturday was her graduation ceremony...I made arrangements to have a bouquet of flowers to be delivered to her as a token to congratulate her on her graduation...not only that, I SMSed her to congratulate her and to tell her she'll look good in her attire that goes with the gown....I went through a lot of trouble and put in a lot of effort just to make it happen considering the geographical distance circumstances
I believe the saddest thing in life, is caring so much for someone and then one day you look into their eyes and listen to them talk and realize that they are gone...all I see in front of me is a stranger with just a known name...sometimes the people who I thought I knew...start becoming the strangers I never wanted....change is hard...you fight to hold on, yet you fight to let go
Nevertheless, tomorrow isn't a promise, it's a chance..a chance waiting to be seized...if I want to live, I have make everything happen...it is obvious that the goals between me and her cannot be reached...I don't have to adjust the goals...I have to adjust the action steps...I would rather do something and find out that it was the wrong thing, than never know if it was the right thing...I know if I fail, the fall is going to be harder but I'm willing to risk it all despite what world tells me....I know I can't force her to love me...but all I know is this....I can only make myself someone who can be loved by her..
Sometimes I think about the first time I realized that I loved her ... it was as if my eyes took a picture at that moment and stored it in my heart. Sometimes I think about how much my life has changed because of her. I think about her and her happiness, about us and our life together, and I realize that she was as much a part of me now as the air I breathe and the dreams I have. But, from time to time, I still like to remember the first time I looked into her eyes and saw my future there
It's not enough to have a dream, unless you're willing to pursue it. It's not enough to know what's right, unless you're strong enough to do it. It's not enough to learn the truth, unless you also learn to live it. It's not enough to reach for love, unless you care enough to give it. Men who are resolved to find a way for themselves will always find opportunities enough; and if they do not find them, they will make them.
depression hits supa_jock at 6:41 AM
2 Comments:
I don't know where to start...that's the problem...before this, she was the biggest part of my life...my life was all about her
Thanks for the advice Therese. That was exactly what the rest of my girl friends said as well. I've basically left her alone to let her lead her own life. People need time alone. She needs time alone and so do I. I guess what you say do make sense. From my point of view, the reason she's treating me like this is because I might be a pain in the ass to her being pushy. Guess all I can do now is nothing but lead my life without her. If fate shines upon us, then it is meant to be.
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