A nocturnal rollercoaster journey
If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there worrying. It's the worry that gets you, not the lack of sleep
I hope she's doing fine out there without me cause I'm not doing so good without her. The things I thought she'd never knew about me were actually the things I guess she'll be the only one who understands. How could I have been so blind to see the truth through all this fear of living without her?
As time goes by, I feel like I'm losing touch with my sanity and losing ground with my identity. I don't know who I really am anymore. Before she came into my life, everything was directional. I had things planned and aims to be achieved. She thwarted all that I've planned for. Ever since there was her, she was and still is a very big part of me. To be without her by my side is like losing a very big part of me. Even until today, I still practice the habits that she instilled onto me. Its not that I want to but these habits have been embodied deep within me...just like how she is to me. Every breath I take, I can taste the smell of what I could never have again and it comes from her.
Yesterday I had a couple of drinks with my mates. I was quite tipsy when I got home at about 4am. At 4.30am, I was so dead tired, I passed out. Strangely, at bout 6.30am, I woke up without the slightest hint of exhaustion. Haven't slept yet since then till now. Ever since it all began, I've started to develop insomnia. I don't sleep regularly and I don't get the much needed rest that I should be getting. As time goes by, my body and my soul are deteriorating.
Nothing lasts forever and we all know hearts can change. I've been through this such a long long time just trying to kill the pain. In general, lovers always come and lovers always go and when it all ends, no one's really sure who's letting go today. I wished upon a star that someday I'll wake up where the clouds are far behind me. A place where trouble melts like lemon drops somewhere high above the chimney tops. Thats where you'll find me.....someday
P/S: Sugwen, this one here is dedicated to you...hope you'll find your way ;-)
I’m on the outside
I’m looking in
I can see through you
See your true colors
Cause inside you’re ugly
You’re ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you
I hope she's doing fine out there without me cause I'm not doing so good without her. The things I thought she'd never knew about me were actually the things I guess she'll be the only one who understands. How could I have been so blind to see the truth through all this fear of living without her?
As time goes by, I feel like I'm losing touch with my sanity and losing ground with my identity. I don't know who I really am anymore. Before she came into my life, everything was directional. I had things planned and aims to be achieved. She thwarted all that I've planned for. Ever since there was her, she was and still is a very big part of me. To be without her by my side is like losing a very big part of me. Even until today, I still practice the habits that she instilled onto me. Its not that I want to but these habits have been embodied deep within me...just like how she is to me. Every breath I take, I can taste the smell of what I could never have again and it comes from her.
Yesterday I had a couple of drinks with my mates. I was quite tipsy when I got home at about 4am. At 4.30am, I was so dead tired, I passed out. Strangely, at bout 6.30am, I woke up without the slightest hint of exhaustion. Haven't slept yet since then till now. Ever since it all began, I've started to develop insomnia. I don't sleep regularly and I don't get the much needed rest that I should be getting. As time goes by, my body and my soul are deteriorating.
Nothing lasts forever and we all know hearts can change. I've been through this such a long long time just trying to kill the pain. In general, lovers always come and lovers always go and when it all ends, no one's really sure who's letting go today. I wished upon a star that someday I'll wake up where the clouds are far behind me. A place where trouble melts like lemon drops somewhere high above the chimney tops. Thats where you'll find me.....someday
P/S: Sugwen, this one here is dedicated to you...hope you'll find your way ;-)
I’m on the outside
I’m looking in
I can see through you
See your true colors
Cause inside you’re ugly
You’re ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you
depression hits supa_jock at 8:42 AM
8 Comments:
thats odd. i posted the same thing a few weeks ago. staind's outside. i love that song. i could not sleep the whole night as well. anyways hope you get some rest. its 9am. im gonna try to sleep.
one day, you'll see that... you werent man enough for her.
AND
the day you realize that, you will also realize that its her big loss.
END
Sugwen: My mate suggested that I should have some music on while I try to get some sleep. White noises do actually helps a little. It does help me drown out the awkward silence that causes my mind to drift into undesired thoughts.
Bert: At first I don't really understand what you were trying to say. It just seem so contradictive but after consulting a certain friend, I finally realise the messege you were trying to lobby across. Although it may sound harsh but it does make a lot of sense. I truely believe that 1 fine day, I would be able to wake up a stronger person and tell myself that there's someone out there who is more deserving then she ever will be.
woi woi...kenot sleep?
chill la bro...go dakei la. after dakei come home and try listening to the sound of your clock. when my clock batt died, i cant sleep also, gotten used to the tickings...do u have a noisy clock?
AHAHHAHA...Ben!you are one mad MOFO...hearing the sound of the clock for long period of time can drive my sanity to the edge man...close enough to be insane!
eeehh ta kei too much can go crazy one you know...don't believe me?ask the rest of them addicts!HAHAHAHHAH
I feel like slapping you after reading all your posts. Maybe because I've been through what you're going through, knowing it is unnecessary to feel this way.
gapi phatty: I really really want to be over this. I've given up all hopes of things ever rekindling. I just want to get on with my life. The only stumbling block is that she's a fucking manipulative whore. She knows how to manipulate the whole situation esp when she wants something from me. She knows how to hold me by her palms.
Dude!I do play a lot of sports. I play basketball every evening. Just that lately, its been raining a lot. Can't get my dosage of andrenalin rushes
YC: PLEASE for the love of God slap me!!Feel free to do it. I really need to wake up. Need reality to bite me right in the ass to realise that she's not worth all this shit I'm going thru. You're right. Its totally unnessary to be feeling this way. Life is just too short to be consumed by these feelings.
gapi phatty: of course not!I don't enjoy it a single bit. I feel damn used
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