Physical and emotional damage
The pain of love is the pain of being alive. It is a perpetual wound.
On this date, it has been exactly 2 months since we broke up. To commemorate this day, I was surprised with a badly sprained ankle while playing basketball. The damage could be worse then I expected. I swore I heard something snapped in my ankle, no thanks to this guy who lost his footing but found it on my foot. Now my foot has swollen to the size of a ball. The pain was so excruciating, I couldn't walk nor sleep. Nevertheless, at least the pain reminds me that I'm still alive and still human after all. This 2 months has been a journey filled with self-discovery and self-reflection. All the roads I had to walk along were winding and all the lights that led me there were blinding. I've been way over my comfort zone whilst I was together with her. I was enclosed in a world where nothing else mattered but her. Guess this is God's cruel way of reminding me that the world is much bigger then this by giving me this heartache coupled with this sprained ankle.
I'm trying very hard to get on with my life and move on. I've started applying for jobs and I'm getting positive and promising replies as well. Instead of my life being at a stand-still, its finally moving somewhere. But still, I just can't help by the fact that I still have feelings for her and I still miss her heaps. I'm sort of like back to the person I use to be before I met her but I want to be the person I was when I was with her. Its hard to explain it in words but I finally understood what it really means. When I was with her, I was so much a better person. I was more responsible and independent. I was more daring and willing to take risks. I was better at my fund and time management. The bottomline is that if I compare my current self and my former self, my former self would be a more proactive person whereas my current self is more a laid-back and procrastinating person. Because of her, my life has changed.
As the days roll on, I could see time standing still for me when she's not here. It feels like I'm stuck in this vacuum between time and reality. There are many things that I would like to say to her but I just don't know how or where to start. Only heaven knows what to say even though for right now she's at a distance.
On this date, it has been exactly 2 months since we broke up. To commemorate this day, I was surprised with a badly sprained ankle while playing basketball. The damage could be worse then I expected. I swore I heard something snapped in my ankle, no thanks to this guy who lost his footing but found it on my foot. Now my foot has swollen to the size of a ball. The pain was so excruciating, I couldn't walk nor sleep. Nevertheless, at least the pain reminds me that I'm still alive and still human after all. This 2 months has been a journey filled with self-discovery and self-reflection. All the roads I had to walk along were winding and all the lights that led me there were blinding. I've been way over my comfort zone whilst I was together with her. I was enclosed in a world where nothing else mattered but her. Guess this is God's cruel way of reminding me that the world is much bigger then this by giving me this heartache coupled with this sprained ankle.
I'm trying very hard to get on with my life and move on. I've started applying for jobs and I'm getting positive and promising replies as well. Instead of my life being at a stand-still, its finally moving somewhere. But still, I just can't help by the fact that I still have feelings for her and I still miss her heaps. I'm sort of like back to the person I use to be before I met her but I want to be the person I was when I was with her. Its hard to explain it in words but I finally understood what it really means. When I was with her, I was so much a better person. I was more responsible and independent. I was more daring and willing to take risks. I was better at my fund and time management. The bottomline is that if I compare my current self and my former self, my former self would be a more proactive person whereas my current self is more a laid-back and procrastinating person. Because of her, my life has changed.
As the days roll on, I could see time standing still for me when she's not here. It feels like I'm stuck in this vacuum between time and reality. There are many things that I would like to say to her but I just don't know how or where to start. Only heaven knows what to say even though for right now she's at a distance.
depression hits supa_jock at 6:06 PM
7 Comments:
HHAHAHAHAH...no wonder my eyes kept twitching today. WTF?what so interesting to talk bout me?
hahahahaha...si beh kwai lan...one day u ok, the next day i see u like this..haiyoh...
gapi phatty: any suggestions?I've tried everything I can think of but the responses I get are not promising at all. I get like "don't waste your money la" or "don't waste your time la" or no responses at all. But she always end those statements with "its not worth it". Everytime I try something, it feels like I'm pushing her even further away from me. Very easy!don't need acrobatic bullshit...just unwrap the bandage and shower and wrap the bandage back after shower!HAHAHAHAHA
"In japan, men actually bandage their legs for fashion reason and I think its damn cool!you look good and cool in it" (Jamie, 2005)
Benalog: I don't know la BBeennn. This 1 i think is the love of my life. I tried hating her and I tried forgetting her but I still end up the same place. *sigh*. MENGAPA HARUS CINTA yo!
joh joh johhhhh...jiwangnyaaaa mamat...
I'm a jiwang lovin, emo feelin kinda guy...ahhahhhaahha
u r juz sux at basketball la! dun relate all the bad things together! And yea, I think she is the type of person where the more u do something, the further u push her away...i was like that =P
oahhhhahahha....it wasn't my fault. That guy stepped on my ankle with his full body weight, thus thrusting momentum and cause my ankle to bend on an awkward position. She is those kind of person. I can feel it. The more things I do, it feels like she's keeping her distance from me.
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